I love being a wife. I sign most notes and letters to him with a Genglish word (German/English mixed/made up word) for wife. I have noticed that most people who say, or write the words “I love being a wife” follow them with the words “and mother” and almost all the time they are combined with religious belief too. But being a wife for me is totally a unique experience which has very little to do with either the experiences of motherhood, or the experiences of religion so I find it a strange that nearly everyone cannot separate these very different, very individual personal relationships from each other in the context, simply of “wow” I made a great choice in a husband and being with him makes me feel great!
Unlike the people who say, that it is all they ever wanted, to be a wife and mother; I was not a person who thought I would ever marry. First of all, I walk to the beat of my own drum. I am a very strong feminist, but I also like to do traditionally female things like cooking, child rearing, sewing and decorating. I own and use a contractors tool belt – but it is pink. I dug, framed and installed cement walk ways while my husband looked on, much to the wild amusement of my rather traditional Italian neighbourhood. The fact is that I do what I like, when I like as long as it does not hurt other people, animals or the planet and I figured that I can do things myself so why would I ever need a man?
I also assumed that no man would have me – because if he expected me to do anything for him, then by god, he would be getting nothing from me! Years ago, an old flame of mine told me that in his country, I would have been burned to death if I behaved the way that I do! I am hardly a vixen in bed, the fact is that I am shy about sex. I also have a big flaw -I don’t have those voice filters that most people have. I say what I think and I have a lot of opinions on things, so I am a hard fit since I don’t live my life confined by any particular set of rules or social obligations.
When I met my very quiet, steady, intellectual husband who looked at my eyes when I spoke and who said he would not expect a thing from me, I was very impressed. I thought, wow here is a man I can live with! For a long time I tested him – not doing little things like making dinner to see if he would fall into a rage, but never has he had any expectations of me but to spend time with him and to be his friend, which is easy, because I like him so well!
I guess, truth be known, that is why I like being married, because it is so easy.
Yes, again, always the individual, I like being a wife.
