Words to Reckon With

July 24, 2008

Who are these people in my bed?

Filed under: Writing, neighbourhood — loobiesmith @ 2:21 am
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I have been really working this week at my writing.  The characters lives begin to participate in my life as I hang around with them more and more.  They get in bed with me, wake me in the night and far too early in the morning.  I am being propelled by their need to tell me their story.  They are people who, primarily I like, even though I find the sleeping patterns that they keep totally disruptive to reality.  

This week the rain has been coming down – nearly consistently, so I am in the house with them.  Trapped!

Today I need to go out, and wonder how they will all fit on my electric scooter when I go?  

I simply must go out to get some groceries, despite all these people who will insist on going with me, and despite the rain!  I wonder, will they complain about getting wet, since the rain is threatening to come down again?  Will they keep me from the task of driving while I navigate the busy downtown Hamilton streets.  Will the police pull me over and query as to why it is that I have dozens of people riding around with me on my Vespa like scooter?

Will I fit through the doors of Denningers?

They get so huge!  I am certain, others can see them now!

July 20, 2008

Meeting Lois

About a year or two ago I met Lois in passing and recently we met again by coincidence.  It is both interesting and timely that we have met just now.  I am at a point of huge transition and looking for a creative link to the community and she too is at a similar junction.  We have had the chance to have planned time together over the past few days and it has been nice.  We have had a lot to talk about and I think that we two ladies will share some very nice days together in future.  We both find a lot of significance in our family, we are both people watchers, which is really great since we can spend time together without the need for words, even though our friendship is in very early days.  We both lean in the same direction and have kids who are at the age where we women start to have our own time and need a new beginning.  We have also both moved from place to place and we are both creative women. In short, it is a friendship that has a beautiful, start.

Last night we went out to see an art show and it was so fun!  There we were, two grown women really enjoying being out past dinner time in the downtown for a simple inexpensive evening of walk and chatter. To have the opportunity to be with another grown up who we are not married to.  Such a simple and unexpected pleasure to be a woman who is out for the evening with another like minded person of the same gender.  I had really forgotten what it is like to spend time with a new friend who is in the same place as you are because when women marry and have children they are so busy being mom that they don’t have the chances that they had in university to gather in the same ways.  I certainly, and I think Lois too, with all the moves and kids could not keep up with those really important female friendships.  

Anyway, what I wanted to say is that meeting Lois, might be the nicest thing that has happened to me in a long while!

July 17, 2008

Green Space! Any tips?

I am interested in keeping the planet clean.  I do my best to buy things with little packaging, bring bags when I shop, drive a fully electric motorbike, use the local farm market, compost, and recycle everything.  Even when I had a family of seven my weekly garbage bag was about a quarter full.  

Now though, there is the matter of this house we own.  Perfect for a big family, but with only three of us at home now we don’t use the sitting room, my husband and I have our own individual offices – his the entire third floor – extra bedrooms and a full basement being used only for laundry and storage, we have the issue of the carbon footprint to deal with that is much too big for the two of us.  I suggested to my husband that we get a student in, but he does not wish to live like this and frankly the idea of selling our home is just not really that feasible.  Moving house would cost between 5 and 10K with the real-estate and lawyers fees, and we have 10 years owing on our mortgage, so it simply is not economical for us to move at the moment.  Too, we like the house, the neighbours, the area, the handy deli, baker and those places that make local shopping totally possible, true we could simply buy again in the same area, but still the cost would be the same since we do the packing and moving ourself.

Our home is about 2500 square feet – any suggestions to keep us both carbon free as well as financially in a similar spot?

July 13, 2008

E.D. Smith – not only in a jam

I went to E.D. Smith’s farm today.  We were picking cherries.  I can’t tell you what an interesting and wonderful day it was!  For those who don’t know, this is an old highly respected farm family who have been producing fruit for what I understand is now the eight generation!  The farm is in Winona, Ontario a little town which is best known for it’s Peach Festival.

I was interested in going to the farm, not as much for the fruit as for the historical connection and the experience.  I actually did my university thesis on the daughter of E.D. Smith when I was studying.  She has not as far as I know really been researched by anyone except me, so I am probably the foremost expert on the her, which is pretty cool really!  When I started digging into Elizabeth’s life, I found that I quite liked the family.  They had good ethics and E.D. Smith stood out as a very significant historical figure!

E.D. Smith was not only a farmer, a jam maker, an MP and a business man he was a exceptionally progressive man when it came to the women in his life.  This is likely due to the fact that his mother Damaris Isabella McGee (married to Sylvester Smith in 1853) was a force to be reckoned with and according to the family’s website, a pivotal person in the diversification of the family farm – into fruit and canning.  This strength that E.D. Smith’s mother showed him, was sent on through the generations to his daughter Elizabeth, who with his blessing, was sent off to University.  He did not send her to study English, which was the only acceptable area of study for women of this time. No, she wanted to study medicine and did.  It does not end there, of course, so much happened to this young pioneer while at school!  But year after year he sent her back.  The Smith’s you see, believed that women must be strong hold up thier heads and get on with it.  

For me the visit today was so amazing.  Lucky for me, I got the opportunity to see the family integrity first hand when I met Llewellyn Smith’s lovely and startlingly busy, wife Susan who hand in hand with her husband runs and manages the farm.  Today she was, not surprisingly, busy, smiling and out in the fields directing the huge crowd as well as the staff, while her husband saw to their children’s needs.  She was nothing short of amazing.  A smile, a hand shake and a direction of purpose that very few have.  I was not in the least surprised that a Smith would be married to such a powerhouse, but still I was humbled.

This said, there was something too that was very special about being at the farm.   I could feel the energy in the land which was carried through from the people who farmed it.  This topic is discussed in “The Embers and the Stars” by Erazim Kohak, but basically it is that a person puts all his or her energy into the land and that careful observers can find out a lot by paying attention.  In the case of the Smith’s gorgeous property, by looking around I could see that they understand the importance of good business but they do not do this at the cost of the trees or the land.  They ask that you do not litter, harm the trees, they check to be sure that you do not carry potential pollutants so that the land will last and be something that they, as a family can take pride in.  You can see by the well done fence lines, the careful pruning of the trees and the wonderful staff that each decision they make is weighed.  After all these years, they carry a HUGE pride in ownership that is for the most part lost and not understood by city dwellers.

I am thankful that I have a life which allows me to experience things like this!

 

July 11, 2008

NaNoWriMo 2008

Filed under: Writing, neighbourhood — loobiesmith @ 3:36 am
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I just joined NaNoWriMo 2008.  It is the first time that I have ever participated in this process.  My idea is that I will hopefully get, from the website, some techniques to getting my writing in order.  Also, I hope to connect with other wannabee writers in my community during the next year or so, because NaNoWriMo has some venues leading up to, during and after the month of November.  November is, of course, when participants try to write 5000 words per day for each day of the month.  Quantity is the main objective – rather than quantity – get it out and worry about the editing later!

I actually write like this, so it should not be too much of a step for me.  When I was dong technical writing I just sat down and purged it out, mad typing, spitting out what ever came to my creative head.  I think that this is a good way to go – it is organizing.  Thoughts come and you basically jump the thought of the thought and keep on going.  Breathless words, fist ideas, a roll of gentle notions coming out.

I really am looking forward to the first event!

July 6, 2008

God! I am sorry! My house is so clean!

There are certain things that you think you could never be guilty of.  A too clean house is on the top of my list of things I never thought that I would apologize for!  Nonetheless, a first!  Last night, I did just this!  My cousin whose childhood nick name Jenny-jenny-poo-poo, which lingers despite her being nearly my age and another indomintable woman, who does not kowtow to anyone; Jjpp, like me, is a feminist who is intellectually under very few, if any.  She is lovely and I was overjoyed to see her – but my house was just so clean!

Yes, there she was at my door and my self made – environmentally safe home cleaning products were present.  I could smell the vinegar and orange essential oil drifting out of my home as we went to the door and as I looked around I knew the truth.  Three days of cleaning had made my home one of those better homes and gardens, spit polished oddities that perhaps no one could ever be comfy in!  

I grew up in a house with a clean freak for a mother.  She loved bleach and would clean the entire house with it.  Our home smelled like her cooking with a very clear, omnipresent bleach, cleanser and Mr. Clean undercurrent.  My mom’s friends would bring people to our home and show them the inside of Mom’s closets because even they were not free from Mom’s need for a total and absolute freakish hygiene standard.  Our home had shag carpets, but I would wager that an operating room could be no cleaner than those carpets, and this despite the fact that my father, a farmer, dragged all matter of farm in with him as he entered and exited the home multiple times during the day.  My mother, you see, vacuumed the house three times a day quite frequently, and two times a day normally.  She gave her life for the clean!

I moved out when I was young and made the choice of being normal when it comes to my home.  I’ve always thought life was much to short to spend it in the house cleaning all the time.  But still my mother was in my head, she said my house was filthy every time she came by, and I felt that I was not an adequate housekeeper.  A drip on the counter top, a speck of dust on the mantle, a crumb in the kitchen, would send me into the that childhood place where we all wanted to make our Mommy happy.  Since I was not interested in having a (beyond) operating room standard of clean in my home, I felt inadequate as a housekeeper and hated every single minute of cleaning the house. It never mattered, all that work, because no matter how hard I tried it could not ever be as clean as mom’s house!

Then, a few years ago, I became a foster parent who along with a house that has seven people to take care of, there is the matter of the four dogs too!  So, over the last years, I guess I softened with myself.  I had to, because there is a lot of work to maintain all the chores for a big family.  Beds need to be washed bi-weekly, floors to sweep, vacuuming to be done and then there are the children to take care of, nurture and keep safe.  The soccer, swimming lessons, homework, and so on and so on!  I noticed over the years that some cob webs would appear in my corners, which of course I would sweep down and dust bunnies grew in spots where a speck might have bugged me before and I swept them but I stopped pulling out all the furniture every time that I swept and vacuumed the house.  I relaxed and accepted normal, setting standards for myself that were not only kinder but also more realistic.

Then on Wednesday our last children left.  Three sweet little faces out the door at once, and my husband away on business, so what is left is me the house, 40 pounds of chihuahuas, quiet and time – loads of it!  

The children’s move left me with a lot of chores to do as I purged the house of the kids things but as I mentioned the most significant was the time that I have to get things done.  As I packed the kids boxes and donated the furnishings, I found dust bunnies, lots of them!  So a major cleaning had to take place, so on Wednesday I started this. Scrub, scrub, wipe, wipe, sweep, sweep, vacuum look relocate, pull out, throw out, and clean some more!  I did not hate cleaning anymore and as I cleaned I was feeling like my house was very good, it smelled nice and became as well organized as a house could be.  I could see my work and I was happy with myself.

This said, I don’t want this to become my life!  Last night when I looked around my house I realized that I had found balance!  It was so strange to actually see the house – see myself – and for the first time in my life see that I had grown, that by accepting that a few specs of dust are OK and what makes a house a home, I had relaxed and accepted that a bit of dust did not make me a terrible person or better yet inadequate in any way.  So now that it is done I guess, I can sit back relax and let the dust grow again for a while.  I’ll be gentle on myself and take the time to write, since this is my objective anyway. 

So while I am happy my house is cleaned, right now it is weirdly so!  It looks like I do not have a life at all, and I do, so next time you come Jjpp, I won’t be dust free and you may even have to sit on dog hair! I know you won’t mind and I won’t either, because we will be too busy talking, laughing and thinking about the world, politics, other human beings; we will be sharing our lives and just generally enjoying the company of the other.  So we won’t have time to be worried about the crap that I have stuffed in my closets or which hide in my corners!  There are so many more important things and accepting our own adequacy is on the top of that list, for sure!

July 5, 2008

Why is that?

Filed under: Uncategorized — loobiesmith @ 5:08 am

I love being a wife.  I sign most notes and letters to him with a Genglish word (German/English mixed/made up word) for wife.  I have noticed that most people who say, or write the words “I love being a wife” follow them with the words “and mother” and almost all the time they are combined with religious belief too.  But being a wife for me is totally a unique experience which has very little to do with either the experiences of motherhood, or the experiences of religion so I find it a strange that nearly everyone cannot separate these very different, very individual personal relationships from each other in the context, simply of “wow”  I made a great choice in a husband and being with him makes me feel great!

Unlike the people who say, that it is all they ever wanted, to be a wife and mother; I was not a person who thought I would ever marry.  First of all, I walk to the beat of my own drum.  I am a very strong feminist, but I also like to do traditionally female things like cooking, child rearing, sewing and decorating.  I own and use a contractors tool belt – but it is pink.  I dug, framed and installed cement walk ways while my husband looked on, much to the wild amusement of my rather traditional Italian neighbourhood.  The fact is that I do what I like, when I like as long as it does not hurt other people, animals or the planet and I figured that I can do things myself so why would I ever need a man?  

I also assumed that no man would have me – because if he expected me to do anything for him, then by god, he would be getting nothing from me! Years ago, an old flame of mine told me that in his country, I would have been burned to death if I behaved the way that I do!   I am hardly a vixen in bed, the fact is that I am shy about sex. I also have a big flaw -I don’t have those voice filters that most people have.  I say what I think and I have a lot of opinions on things, so I am a hard fit since I don’t live my life confined by any particular set of rules or social obligations.  

When I met my very quiet, steady, intellectual husband who looked at my eyes when I spoke and who said he would not expect a thing from me, I was very impressed.  I thought, wow here is a man I can live with!  For a long time I tested him – not doing little things like making dinner to see if he would fall into a rage, but never has he had any expectations of me but to spend time with him and to be his friend, which is easy, because I like him so well!

I guess, truth be known, that is why I like being married, because it is so easy.

Yes, again, always the individual, I like being a wife.

July 1, 2008

Happy Canada Day! Eh???

Filed under: Canada, Writing, neighbourhood — loobiesmith @ 1:19 pm
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I have copied and pasted both an article and a link below so that the full story that accompanies my comments is available even if the link breaks at some point in the future.  I have spoken to the issues in this article so many times to my friends that I am certain that they tire of hearing about it!  The problems within Canada’s political system become very apparent to any intelligent Canadian, if they first have the opportunity to be an expat.  

When I left Canada a few years ago, I boarded the plane in blissful ignorance wrapped up in the belief system that I lived in the very best country in the world, but after being away for a while I learned that I like most Canadians had been duped.  I had bought into the belief system that most Canadians do, which is the recognition that we average Canadians have a better quality of life than average Americans due to our health care system and relatively lower violence and the more calm acceptance of people who belong to minority groups.  The problem, the huge problem is that we Canadians don’t have any other neighbours whose fences that we can look over with ease, so we don’t know how good it is out there in the rest of the world.  

As a member of the Canadian Club when I lived abroad we discussed ad nauseum about the mass delusion which Canadians perpetuated and accepted. In the county where I was living McDonalds employees and Medical Professionals, for example had exactly the same benefits package.  This includes, paid vacations of six weeks per year, paid time off for medical appointments, healthcare which includes dental, glasses and even time off to get stitches cleaned and or removed.  When a child is born the family is granted 3 years of full coverage and guaranteed their job back.  This means that if a family decides to have three children every three years they are doing so with not only with full pay but also with the knowledge that in  nine years when they wish to go back to work, the job is still being held for them. In addition to this, the income of individuals is pre arranged to go up incrementally when a person has taken a spouse or has a child and geared to income property is readily available.  In my entire time there I never noticed a pan handler nor did I notice a homeless person.  I also never once witnessed any unfair treatment of employees, which, for anyone who has worked in Canada, you know is certainly NOT the case here.  We simply have a long way to go when it comes to these simple human rights.

Note that I have not even touched on the issues of addiction, violence and so forth.  Not because I am unaware but because I also never witnessed this anywhere but Canada.  I walked at night, around the lake, alone in a very huge city, in the park with no dog, no flashlight, no cell phone and as a woman, I simply cannot imagine doing that in any of the cities here in Canada.  Actually, I probably would not even do this in Canada in most towns.  The difference in my opinion is that we have lost our communal hope and along with this went our safety.

OK… there is a lot more I could talk about but what would be the point?

Again, below, is the article which brought me to this diatribe.  I strongly recommend we Canadians to pull our heads out of the asses of our American neighbours, and see how other people citizens of the developed world live.  Believe me there are comforts out there that we cannot even begin to understand and in this case, I will tell you ignorance is not bliss and when you start to see what we are missing, boy will you be mad!! 

By Julian Beltrame, The Canadian Press

Happy Canada Day! But you may have less to celebrate than you think

 OTTAWA – To many, Canada Day is a time for fireworks displays and contemplating the country’s many blessings, but a new report suggests Canadians may have less to celebrate than they think.

 

The annual Conference Board of Canada report card measuring quality of life among 17 advanced countries released Monday concludes that Canada is like a student who started out strong, but is coasting toward the bottom of the class.

 

In a break from past reports, the Conference Board looked back at Canada’s performance to the 1970s and found that although the economy is stronger and per capita income has increased, other countries have passed it by.

 

Canada’s economy was the envy of the world in the 1970s, ranking third. Now it has fallen to 11th place, behind leader Ireland. And on a per capita basis, individuals in the United States, which ranks seventh, earn $6,400 a year more on average than Canadians.

 

It is a similar story with the other five domains in the report card – innovation, environment, education and skills, health and society, which includes levels of crime. In most, the country is either treading water or slowly sinking.

 

“While Canada is still in the gifted class among nations, its report card tells the story of a country moving to the back of the class,” the study says.

 

“That’s a hard argument to make in a country enjoying low unemployment, a strong dollar, declining debt and a booming resource economy. If everything’s so bad, why does it feel so good?” the report adds.

 

But the devil is in the details.

 

Board president Anne Golden says other countries have caught up and surpassed Canada in many areas, something that should not have happened given Canada’s natural advantages.

 

Canada ranks 15th in environmental performance due to high greenhouse gas emissions and that it produces more garbage per person that any other country in the group. It is ninth in health outcomes, 10th in the society category, and a woeful 13th in innovation with a D grade – not failing, but close.

 

It does best in educational attainment with a second place behind Finland and a B grade. But its illiteracy rate is worse than a decade ago and while it leads the class in college-level completions, Canada is graduating students in the wrong fields.

 

Canada underperforms in skills training, produces relatively few PhDs in the sciences, math and engineering, and the scientists it does produce “tend to congregate in research positions that many not be well connected to commercializing activities.”

 

Canada has been able to do as well as it has over the years mostly due to its abundant natural resource riches and proximity to the world’s richest and largest market, the report says.

 

“We’ve been lucky more than smart,” said Golden. “We’re doing fine, but we’re coasting and that’s not good enough.”

 

This year’s report also contains some myth-busting items.

 

Canada does very poorly in rates of child poverty, with one of seven children considered under the line and most surprisingly in levels of crime.

 

For instance, Canada has 17 times the rate of assaults, seven times as many burglaries and three times as many homicides as Denmark.

But even more surprising is that the United States, which is last in the society category, still has fewer burglaries, a lower suicide rate and greater gender equity than Canada.

“It was a shock to me too,” said Golden. “We are much more violent than we think.” report notes that Canada is doing well in many areas that contribute to quality of life. Canadians rank high in acceptance of diversity, the ability of individuals to move up the income scale, levels of high school and college graduation, living standards that are rising even if not as fast as many others, and Canadians are healthier than several decades ago.

“The good news is that Canada’s past achievements, such as reducing poverty among its elderly, show that given the political will, Canada could successfully address other social challenges to sustain future quality of life,” the report concludes.

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